again weeks have passed and i haven't updated my journal and i still have nothing interesting to say so yeah this is my updated journal

um yeah random journal cos it was my birthday this weekend. bought myself a birthday subscription! yay couldn't handle the adverts any longer I am considering using the journal as a way of sharing my experience in slowly renovating my parents house and garden. A lot of major work has already been done but there is still much to do. It might be nice to show all the before and after photos here and explain the process but we will see. If people are interested then I will do it if not then I won't. All I did this weekend was work on clearing all the debris and ivy from the hedge on the left side of the driveway (50m long) and trim it to the correct level. Also I cleared the Ivy off the larger trees in the hedge. I hate ivy it just kills everything that trys to grow. Tomorrow I will try and clear the drive filling in the potholes and cleaning up the edge to try and expose the old brick edging. Then back to uni for a few days to give in a few bits of coursework. uni work is so boring zzzz. I wanted to give up but everyone I have talked to says I should stick with it and just drop onto the Beng and just try and pass. I don't even know if I am good enough to pass this year we'll see
Anyway as usual I will promise to update more often (and I will if people are interested in the renovation work) and yeah hope everyone has a great week I will make sure my next journal is easier to read!
cheers Jabir

I have been up all night trying to record some songs but everytime I keep fucking up the recording argh! fucking gggggggggggrrrrrrr. I have tried each part 20+ times and I am still out of time with the other parts I recorded aaaarrrrggghhhh fuck!!!!!! I'm so angry so I have given up and am going shopping 30hours awake and still going strong bah sleep is for losers

PS I got so angry I ate a whole box of chocolate fingers and I nearly threw up

Well I guess the title sums it up. I am failing my course and I am not even a term in. Rock and Roll. I don't really think I am cut out for all this work bullshit. I think I should just drop out and fuck around the rest of my life. At least I will focus on the things that matter rather than all this crap people shove down our throats. But I guess thats all stupid talk eh? We all got family and we gotta look after em even if we wanna do something else with our life. I guess I'm just pissed off. a. because I am failing at something again and b. cos I wanna go outside and garden my vegtables are dying at home My friends tell me I am a hippy I don't think so but maybe this just proves it
Its not all doom and gloom though I am just being very teenagery 18 still acting like I was 13! I am enjoying the freedom of uni life and some of the course I am just not doing any work. standard. Got in a band again yay we are doing jazzy funky stuff (and a little bit of grunge!) its cool the drummers from new orleans so knows all this cool music its great. I forgot how good it is being in a band playing good music hopefully I don't get kicked out this time
Football is cool too. My uni hall is top of the league but we have a hard game on sunday hopefully we will win inshallah but we will see I think I will play defensive midfield but try and play some passes but we will see. I am so upset about england though. SO depressing I just can't believe it I really can't. I can't explain how gutted I feel.


on a lighter note check out this cool lego gramaphone its sweet I am gonna buy some mindstorm stuff and build it its cool
[link]

also please check out my m8 here he is in my hall and yeah check him out but leave comments plz!


Jabir

Hmmm I not very good at journals but here goes:-
I guess this is just a quick update for my watchers (He watches 3,076 people, while 139 people watch him hmmmm) and the friends I have neglected over the years here (sorry). Tomorrow I finish my packing and then I am off to uni and I guess thats pretty much it. I am going to study for a masters in Material Science although I will probably stuff it up (how very teen angsty) anyway I just thought i should let people know whats going on in my life thats all.
Hopefully I will be a bit better about updating my account from now on although I have said that before and not acted on it but I will do my best from now on. I have a number of photos I am working on at the moment (just slight touch ups I hate over manipulating them!) and I hoping to post some of my music here (in the flash category) so I can get some critique. I don't expect much positive but still if it makes me a better musician then thats fine. I am afraid the quality of the recording will be rubbish as they are recorded straight onto my laptop via the on board mic and then mashed together in movie maker. I also hope to take some more photos in the nest few weeks now I am in London again (I forgot to mention I was going to Imperial sorry ) and I will try to post those too. As I said earlier I hope to have a bit more of a presence again. I had a long enforced absence due to being at boarding school where I couldn't get to deviantart now I feel I can come back again
I feel my photography has improved a lot in the years I have been away and generally I have matured as a person. The last 8years or so have been very difficult for me and the people around me and I hope now I have some stability in my life that I can do my best to try and repair the damage I have done to everyone (me included). I know its a bit of a cliche to find religion and all that but it happened to me an I am grateful it did. I don't think it has changed me that much only given my life some meaning so I don't feel I have to end it everytime I open my eyes. Hopefully it has only enhanced the parts of me people liked not the parts they didn't and I hope this can rub off on deviantart I hope that I can start to contribute again and do my best for the community as a whole. I look back at some of the pathetic immature things I have done here and hope I never act like that again. I also hope that I can get back some of the friends I lost through my own selfishness
Anyway now I have got that teen angst and crap out of my sytsem I guess I should get on with answering the 100odd messages I haven't responded to. I would like to thank everyone who has commented and faved etc and I am sorry I have not responded until now hopefully that won't happen again!
Hope to get to know everyone again sorry again for all I have done hope I can go some way to making it up to people sorry
Tell my next journal entry yours
Jabir